The Vajra Parrot Squawks!

It struck me today, as I was battling against the tides that relentlessly buffet anyone trying to get even the simplest thing done in this country at times, how tiring it can be, existing as we do.

Just think of all the luggage we carry around - physical and mental... as if we haven't already got enough to contend with?

Even those of us who are trying to live more simply carry an awesome array of baggage that weighs us down.

Today, for example, among my personal possessions, I counted enough masks to make old Thespis green with envy. I counted, among many others, the friendly mask I donned to speak to some tourists, quickly shelved and replaced by a peeved mask (for the guy in the internet cafe who wouldn't allow me to download the software to repair my phone); this in turn was followed by the imperious mask reserved for those of us who tut tut at the un-Britishness of how things are done over here and then by a more mischevious mask for the purpose of gossiping and joking around with some fellow monks; later, when I'd returned from my sojourn in Darjeeling, I adopted the self-righteous mask of one who had selflessly trudged hither and yonder in order to stock the monastery kitchen with some pukka stuff - the mask of the culinary Bodhisattva. And there were more.

Now I wear the sanctimonious mask reserved for writing blog entries, but even this is replaced at intervals with other masks as thoughts come and go.

So many thoughts. So many situations. So many masks.

So much junk.

So very tiring.

I find myself wondering why we - especially myself - carry all this unneeded gear... why we can't simply drop the masks and the dramatic fictions which comprise so much of this precious time we spend on this planet and be ourselves: spontaneous, simple, joyful, uncontrived, unattached, free?

The truth is that this is what we really are like, beneath the many, superfluous masks we carry. The other truth is that the masks themselves are just imaginary, as real as the plots in a soap opera.

We can sometimes glimpse our real, hidden face if we give ourselves the time and space, and are courageous and mindful enough to 'let go' and be open... and refrain from delving into the props cupboard at any given moment.

Tomorrow's resolution: to drop as many masks as I can or, at least, be mindful of the times that I reach for them.

"to timeless buddhahood, basic total presence,
to unchanging spontaneity, the spacious vajra-heart,
to the nature of mind - natural perfection,
constantly, simply being, we bow down."

— Longchenpa